On a less whiny note, since there's a 99% chance that I won't get to go to Arizona this weekend to see POTO and hang out with resounding_echo (which I'll whine about later, once it has officially not happened, because I'm trying to avoid thinking too much about it now in order to avoid getting depressed), I was trying to come up with something fun I could do instead. Less fun than seeing POTO, obviously, but still. Then it occurred to me that the Walt Disney Family Museum is open in San Francisco now and they're screening Sleeping Beauty, which is my absolute favorite, through the 20th of this month. Seeing my favorite Disney movie on the big screen for the first time? That would cheer me up! Thing is, I'll be going alone (on account of I don't know anyone else who'd care or who has the time or money), and getting to the museum will require me to either take BART and then take Muni for the first time or to drive into the city for the first time. Are there any locals who'd recommend one or the other? The museum's in the Presidio.

By the way, resounding_echo, even if I don't get to come out there and ~*~show you how it's done~*~ you seriously need to go to the stagedoor at least once before the show leaves or you'll never forgive yourself! I promise, it's really not scary. Just be polite and honest and enthusiastic and remember to provide your own Sharpie and camera. Trista Moldovan and her epic awesomeness await! (Not to mention Bruce Winant, who's one of the nicest people in the history of forever.)

I'm so tired of working retail. The company's not doing particularly amazingly and we're constantly being reminded of our budget and how far we've got to go and how far behind we are and how we need to push and not let customers leave without buying a machine and how we've got to make ten obnoxious phone calls to past customers every day and blah blah blaaaaah. I'm so tired of it all. Although I'm sure I'd hate it almost immediately, I kind of wish I just worked some menial job stocking shelves in a grocery store or something. Something mindless and boring, where I don't have to talk people into buying things because people don't need to be talked into buying breakfast cereal.

I just...I don't know what to do or where I'm supposed to go. I feel totally without direction, and that's a crappy feeling. I think I should be doing something with my life, but I have no idea what that might be. I'd like to just get married and be a housewife, but I can't really will that to happen. But in the meantime there's got to be something better for me to do than sell sewing machines, there's got to be.

On top of having absolutely no direction in life (except a natural gravitation toward the nearest theatre playing The Phantom of the Opera), I don't get to watch Star Trek tonight like I planned on because my dad only bought it on Blu-Ray and I don't have Blu-Ray in my room. >_>

I feel tired and emo. Mostly emo. I've been so emo lately. What's up with that? It's the wrong time of the month for that, there's no excuse. I have moments where I'm in a good mood but then all it takes is one little thing to bring me crashing down to the point where I feel like crying and reevaluating my life. I hate feeling this way without any real cause. It's ridiculous. We all know that I'm a basketcase, but must I be so all the time? And shouldn't there be some real reason for it, like a break up or a family member's death or something? I live a very cushy life and yet I get so mopey, it's truly absurd.

This did make me feel better, though, I must say:

None of you sent me any kind of special offer for Southwest Airline tickets, did you? I just got some email saying that something along those lines was sent to me, but I'm not about to click on what is most likely a virus or scam unless I know. They have robots or whatever that can tell when you've been looking for airline tickets and send you well-placed scams, right?

Dear airlines of the world,

There is no conceivable reason it should cost me $400 to fly to Phoenix. Arizona and California are right next to each other. I looked at a map to make sure and everything. You're being stupid and I do not appreciate it. Not one little bit.

No love,
Mandy

Today was quite fun. I hung out with Taya for the whole afternoon and when her husband Eric got home from work we all went mini-golfing, which I haven't done since I was probably about nine. And it was great! And surprisingly cheap. It cost $22.50 for all three of us to play a round, which is basically the cost of dinner at a mediocre restaurant. I should go mini-golfing more often.

Speaking of money, I've halfway convinced myself that I can totally pull off this Trip of Crazy to Arizona next week. Flight prices aren't too terrible, tickets are still available, I have the time off, I really want to...I mean, this is the closest the tour's going to be for quite awhile and if I don't do it now I'll regret it when they're over on the East Coast, right? Plus Bruce Winant is back with the tour, and I'd be so thrilled to see him again. That alone is a big incentive. Plus I'd get to see Trista and Kelly and D.C. and Kim and I'd finally get to see Tim Martin Gleason as the Phantom. I could totally do this, right? It's not that stupid, right?

Surprisingly, most of the people I've suggested it to have supported the idea, or at least didn't think it was entirely stupid. My mom said she didn't think it was a smart way to spend my money but she also recommended an airline. Taya's only problem with it is that she's considering having her nose pierced next weekend and she won't be able to drag me along with her if I'm out of state. Danielle's response was probably the best: "Mandy, you're 21 years old, you live with your parents, and you don't have to pay rent or a mortgage. If you're going to do something stupid, now's the time."

It was nearly a year ago that the US tour of The Phantom of the Opera opened in San Francisco and I find myself desperately missing the tour cast. A normal person, in this circumstance, might mope a little bit or try to look on the bright side, but I have never been a normal person. I have instead taken notice of the tour's current location in Arizona. Arizona, I have recently discovered, is right next to California. (Seriously, did you know that? I did not know that.) Round trip flights to Arizona aren't that expensive and theatre ticket prices there are less expensive than they are in San Francisco and I have Thursday through Sunday off next week.

Hmmm...

So much for going into the city today. I couldn't sleep and was way too exhausted to go anywhere.

Maybe Wednesday. Yes, let's shoot for Wednesday before work. *nod nod*

I'm going into the city tomorrow without friends, family, or plans to see a show for the first time. Odd, surely? I thought about recruiting a friend, but I actually like the idea of wandering around alone.

Objectives:

♥ Turn in job application at Orpheum Theatre, as is entire point of trip

♥ Visit scary huge fabric store Britex, under pretext of looking for trims to remake Meg masquerade costume for Phantom Fans Week next year, while really going mostly to ogle mountains of textiles

♥ Take artistic photos like real photographer and not worry about a friend's boredom while doing so

♥ Read book (preferably Les Misérables, Leroux's Phantom or similar) in public place such as cafe, and look intellectual and unique while doing so

♥ Attract kind, intelligent, handsome, SINGLE, HETEROSEXUAL male by reading aforementioned book in public place, thereby appearing to be attractive wife option

♥ Find local gem places like you hear about in magazines, such as a tiny dress shop nobody knows exists or a diner that serves the best apple pie in the world

I've been re-reading Bridget Jones lately. Does it show?

Are they ever going to invent a phone that doesn't suck? One of my best friends, Danielle, has one of these newfangled phones (I wouldn't know which one it is; I've had my phone since about 2004) that I can use to show her YouTube videos from Phantom Fans Week while sitting in a booth at Denny's, but apparently it can't tell her when she's missed calls.

Sample phone conversation from work the other day (because we were both on the job at seperate stores for the same company, it wasn't technically inappropriate for us to call and talk to one another since we're always encouraged to call other stores for help and whatnot):

DANIELLE: So what did you end up doing for Halloween?
ME: Sat at home by myself.
DANIELLE: Oh, you should have called me!
ME: I did.
DANIELLE: What? No you didn't.
ME: Yeah I did. I called twice and even left a message.
DANIELLE: Seriously? My phone didn't show anything.

It turns out we were both sitting at home by ourselves (sort of; I had my parents and she had her husband, but still) assuming the other had found something else to do and decided to scrap our vague plans (to eat potstickers and watch Mulan) without bothering to call. And possibly the worst part of it is that I'd scrapped other vague plans (to watch the silent version of The Phantom of the Opera with a phan friend, which is maybe a bit more Halloween-y than Mulan and potstickers) because it didn't look like it was going to work out with the rest of that day, but everything ended up falling through.

It wasn't awful. It was actually the best Halloween I've had in several years, mostly because it didn't feel like Halloween and so I didn't really feel like I was missing a special event. I sat at home and listened to All Things Phantom and chatted with some phan friends for most of the night, then I went and collected the leftovers of our trick-or-treater candy and watched Edward Scissorhands, as is my long-standing Halloween tradition.

The phone thing is still pretty stupid, though.