Current mood:	Depressed
Current music:	None

:(
Have you ever been in one of those moods where everything seems negative even if it's positive? Like, for some reason you can find a problem with everything, even good stuff? I'm in one of those moods right now and I have no idea why, but it's really weighing me down.

I just bought a ticket to see Lisa Vroman at the Symphony again tomorrow night. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it because I have a Velveteen Rabbit performance tomorrow afternoon, but I decided I can make it if I rush. But now I'm worried that I'll be late, or that I'll have problems at Will Call. And I went looking for a new dress to wear today and couldn't find anything, and I realized I need to reschedule a hair appointment and I need to call the choir director to tell her I won't be there tomorrow, and I may watch Raphael and his family go backstage while I don't get to go backstage and Lisa's going to be back in the area next month for something even better, and all of this is combining to make me feel like somehow this is all terribly wrong and I don't know why I'm so stressed about it all. I feel like I want to cry but there's no apparent reason, and I'm not even PMSing.

I think this must just be the general stress of the season getting to me? I've never been busy around Christmastime before, and this year I'm dealing with a regular job and a theatre job and a Christmas musical and money and friends and theatre stuff on the side to worry about, and I guess I'm just having trouble keeping afloat emotionally. And I'm lonely and tired of the way my life is.

I've never been one of those people who sits around at the end of the year and feels like a failure because of what they have or have not accomplished, but I think I may be that person this year. Despite the fact that I've had a job and made new friends and had new experiences and seen The Phantom of the Opera seven times since January 1st, I feel like I haven't really done anything. How has any of this helped further my life? When am I actually going to do something that gets me somewhere?

Wow, I'm suddenly feeling so miserable. I had no idea I was miserable about all of this until I started typing, and now it's all suddenly falling out all over the place. I think I need ice cream.